“The problem is not the issue. The issue is how you handle the problem.”

Addiction Recovery saying

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Home Addiction Recovery Are You a Secret Keeper?
Are You a Secret Keeper?

Secret KeepingOvercoming Hidden Habits and Addictions

Secret Keepers are people whose secrets have power over them and make them misbehave, become sick, or violate their own values. TrueYou offers a listening ear to help you overcome your secret–keeping habits. Our emphasis on practical exercises helps empower individuals who feel guilt or shame about their secret habits to overcome the web of deception and strive toward healthy recovery.

Whether you are a Secret Keeper, or a loved one who wants help, we have the resources to help you.

Secret Keepers:

  • Consciously and cleverly hide their addictions
  • Have an alibi or excuse for everything
  • Resist taking responsibility
  • Avoid talking about a subject or change the subject
  • Won't answer certain questions
  • Some genuinely want to improve and lead a better life but are "stuck"

If you are a Secret Keeper, or know someone who is:

Resources to help a Secret Keeper:


How secret keeping starts in a person's life

People often seek secrecy because they experience hostility or disapproval. This process usually starts in childhood. Some children (ages 8 to 14 approx) withdraw to a safe place all their own in order to escape a hostile/traumatic/neglectful environment.

When this happens, Developmental Deficits occur. See chapter 6, pages 91-94 in Secret Keeping for more on this subject.

Secret KeepingSecrecy Provides

  • Isolation that helps them COPE
  • Security that offers them CONTROL
  • Power that makes up for their POWERLESSNESS

In addition to these there is the lure of:

Secret Keeping Emotions

  • The excitement of breaking rules
  • The pleasure of indulging in what's forbidden
  • The delight of not getting caught.
  • Risk, from adrenaline and dopamine
  • Pride, from a record of never getting caught

The above 8 factors stimulate repeat Secret Keeping behaviors.